2014

All together now...

"Where did 2014 go?!?!"

But really.

I love the bittersweet ending of each year. Spending time reflecting on the ups and downs of the past year and figuring out new goals for the next year is exciting. It's the same reason I love Mondays -- for the fresh start.

2014 was a strange year for me. I spent the beginning of the year frustrated, not knowing what it was God was asking of me. Even after learning I was pregnant and knowing my time as a stay at home mom was fast approaching, I just couldn't let go of chasing whatever I could be good at. I wanted a career...but I also wanted to be a mom that was there for nearly every second of my baby's life. It was an endless thought process in my mind, really.

Pregnancy wasn't exactly what I had expected it to be. It wasn't until after I had Zoe that I think I was able to fully appreciate what my pregnancy was for me. It was a time of rest, quiet, and endless amounts of love from my husband, family and friends. It was a break before the chaos of motherhood. I truly believe the health of myself, Zoe, and how the labor and delivery went were thanks to my 9 months of rest.

The first few months of motherhood have flown by. I had such a hard time believing everyone who said it gets easier but now I do. Everything became a new normal. I wake up once, twice, or five times a night to feed or help console my baby. Sometimes breakfast consists of coffee and some Triscuits. We have to plan our outings completely around Zoe's needs for food and comfort. It was hard letting go of my ridiculous amounts of "me" time I had during pregnancy as well as being able to do whatever Landon and I wanted to do together at any time but I can't stress enough how worth it it all was. Slowly I've been able to find ways to decompress, make sure we still have date nights, and learn how to be a decent mom.

2015 is going to be for growing in selflessness. For choosing more wisely how I spend my time. For being fully present and offering nothing but love in every moment with my family. For reading more books. For seeking out the balance that we all strive to achieve. For trying new things and saying to heck with what I should do or who I should be. 2015 will be for growth at a steady pace.

I hope you stick around as I continue to find my voice on this little blog of mine! Happy New Year :)