Checking In

I've missed this little blog of mine. There's so much I've wanted to write down but dedicating my small slices of "free" time to doing so is a lot easier said than done. I want to go into more detail about her birth, breastfeeding, motherhood, etc., so for now this will be a little check in to say hi, yes I'm still here and yes I still plan on continuing to blog. Hi!

I can confirm that everything people say about being a mom is true. Having a baby changes everything. Even with the help of Landon and family, I now have a little human attached to my hip (or should I say boob) for 20-24 hours a day. Getting ready for the day becomes a test of speed (how presentable can I make myself before she starts fussing?) and mental to-do lists become a mental to-do thing...singular. I threw dinner in the slow cooker the other day and called it a successful day. Time is so precious now. I don't take moments alone with Landon or watching Zoe fall asleep or even 5 minutes in the shower for granted anymore.

Watching Zoe grow and develop has been incredible. It blows my mind to realize she is this example of God's creativity. I didn't read much past having the baby while I was pregnant, so that mixed with what little I knew from experience has allowed for lots of surprises. We couldn't believe how early on she began to hold her head up on her own. She loves sitting up (with help of course) and looking around. Her little hands and feet already seem ginormous in comparison to their size the day she was born. She's packing on the pounds and already starting to fit nicely into 3 month old clothes (at 6 weeks). Her smiles are the best thing in the whole world.

In retrospect, I was doing things wrong during the first few weeks. I was consulting websites and forums and books like it was my job. I felt guilty for giving her a pacifier, supplementing with formula, using a nipple shield, wanting to co-sleep. There's so much out there on what's right and what's wrong and I couldn't hear what my motherly instincts were really telling me. Being realistic and making decisions that worked best for our family was when the fog of the first few weeks began to clear.

Besides Landon being around (and thank God he could take time off and then work from home), I said no to most outside help. This, friends, was one of the dumbest things I had ever done. Lucky for me, my family knows I am a stubborn mule and they were just waiting at the sidelines for me to admit that I wanted them around. Having my mom come into town to help when Landon went back to work saved me. Friends have brought us delicious meals and my inlaws have babysat, allowing for some much needed date time. Help has been essential and I am so grateful for all of those who have given their time to us.

As I sit here with my sweet baby girl asleep on our bed next to me, I still can't believe that she is finally here with us. One and a half months into having a baby and I can firmly say I pray we have the opportunity to do it all again. I'm trying to remember to take it all in and be fully present in this time together with my baby girl.