It's been awhile...again. I honestly just didn't want to have to much of a presence in the virtual world. I stopped reading blogs. I felt like my life as a newish mom just couldn't compete in the blogosphere or on Instagram. I thought 'oh well! No one wants to see another wannabe mommy blogger documenting her boring life.' Not only that but I just couldn't make the time and I was getting so frustrated because it seemed like all the moms everywhere, no matter if they have an online presence or not, are able to do it all. I wondered how long it would take for me to get the hang of managing the house while watching Zoe while working out while running errands while making time for my marriage and myself. For a good length of time, I was even going to sleep earlyish and waking up at 5:30 to make sure I had time to accomplish my goals--and I was still struggling.
I got frustrated at my baby for not wanting to be put on a nap schedule. I got frustrated at myself for not making better use of my time. I got frustrated at God because I had all these ideas and hopes and dreams and I felt like no matter what I did, he just kept whispering 'not now' and for an impatient girl like myself, that was a lot to swallow.
It was after listening to a bunch of podcasts and reading through some solid posts on blogging that I realized two things: 1. I have a unique story that I want to connect with other moms on and 2. There is beauty in the boring and mundane (thank you Cristina for saying that or something like that on Building Bridges).
These past 9 months as a mom have not been terribly unique. I realize lots of moms struggle with lots of things (even more than I have!) for longer lengths of time. But I don't think those middle of the road stories of tough days and struggles are shared nearly as much as the good. Motherhood is hard and can be ugly at times for so many reasons. Zoe is the light of our lives but gosh she's challenged me, and she's not even a year old yet! I don't have the perfect breastfeeding story, the perfect sleeping through the night story, or the perfect routine. I can't say I'm not envious of the women who do, of the stay at home work at home homeschooling moms who seemingly to have it all together.
I hope you'll check in as I share our life with you. It's wild in the most boring way possible ;) Some days I don't put a bra on all day. Some days we go to the grocery store and Z has a meltdown. Some days are absolutely perfect and I find myself thanking God for every single second.
Really though, most of all, I want to connect with you. I want to hear your stories, what your struggling with, what your victories (no matter how small!) are. This job title we're given once our babies are born connects us all for life and I want to nurture those connections and friendships. We can all learn so much from one another and help one another see the beauty in the mundane.
And because I can't go without adding a photo to this post, here are some recentish ones from Zoe.
Lots of hugs,