Sep 23, 2014

Wide Eyed

Well, I suppose the pregnancy insomnia was bound to hit me at some point.

I usually have no problem falling asleep or going back to sleep after a bathroom break in the middle of the night. You can often hear me saying right before bed, "But I'm not sleepy..." and then I'm out just minutes later. I think I read once that being able to fall asleep that easily is a sleep disorder in itself but I'm just going with it for now until it becomes an issue. If it does.

Anyways, I woke up a few times last night and finally woke up for good at 3:40 am. 3:40! I even tried going back to bed a few hours later but just couldn't do it. So I did what every good pregnant woman does: poured herself a bowl of Reese's Puffs (I'm weak), watched some YouTube, and browsed Pinterest for even more things to make before Zoe's arrival. 

Right now I'm 33 weeks pregnant. I should probably do a bump update soon, huh? It's just getting to that point now where I'm feeling so darn large and even maternity clothes are becoming a little tight. I decided I at least want to get a pair of maternity skinny jeans for fall since I'm sure they'll get some wear postpartum as well. But! Tell me why Target only sells maternity bottoms in small, medium, and large? Love the stretch and color of their jeans, but I'm in between sizes and look frumpy going up a size. Pregnancy woes for real.

I'm also realizing that under the belly bottoms just aren't for me. I'm convinced they dig into my bladder, no matter how loose they fit, making me have to go to the bathroom even more than just from Zoe pushing up against it every 10 minutes. I've been wanting to browse stores in person to get some walking in (hah) and for "inspiration" (I feel so out of the trend loop right now it's ridiculous) but I literally can't for more than a few minutes before needing to find a public restroom. And public restrooms just really, really gross me out 90% of the time.

Anyways, let's get back to this 33 week thing for a second. Four more weeks until I'm considered full term. That's a month, ladies and gents. To say I'm a mixed bag of thoughts and emotions right now would be...actually fairly accurate. I am so, so, so excited to meet this little one. I'm excited to see how our lives are changed forever by adding her to our family. I'm excited to see what God has in store and how he'll use her to shape me even more.

I'm also terrified. That's normal, right? Feeling a little bit like "what have I done"? My early desire for an unmedicated birth is long gone and I know I just want a stinkin' epidural. We went to a childbirthing class this past weekend at the hospital and I was really hoping it would be my mind to ease. The nurses didn't give any awful statistics or stories or anything, but my mind was not eased. I think the uncertainty of it all is just killing me and making me anxious every time I try to imagine just how bad the pain of labor and recovery will be. I think I've been blessed with a fairly easy pregnancy so far. I keep waiting to feel so Braxton-Hicks so I get a small feel for what to expect, but I'm pretty darn sure they haven't come yet. But I'm sure you seasoned mamas out there are thinking "just you wait..." because this ain't over yet and a lot can happen in a month+.

Anyways, time to seize the day and head to some doctors appointments and work on my nesting. I hope you all were able to get a full 8 hours of sleep last night ;) I'm sure I'll be sneaking in a nap or two later on!


  1. In my (only-one-time) opinion, I imagined the pain of labor to be the worst thing I could ever imagine. And it was terrible, but it wasn't as bad as my anticipation - I think primarily because I tried to imagine the worst I could! So I think it's a good policy to "dream big" and then hopefully be happily surprised (especially, in terms of recovery). I'm getting so excited for you all!

    1. Also, I got an epidural. So that helped with the pain management, obviously. :)