All of a sudden I looked very pregnant.
It didn't help that we had a huge Italian meal just a few hours earlier. So this bump was both my real baby and a food baby combined. But like I said, as I was looking at my chest, belly, and butt I started to feel let down. I immediately regretted not being in better shape prior to pregnancy and not working out more throughout. I also regretted my yolo attitude towards all the junk food I had been consuming. Finally, I felt jealousy towards pregnant women who were able to afford cute new flattering clothes throughout every stage of their pregnancy. Surely if I had been able to place an order on ASOS or H&M for some trendier maternity pieces I'd be happier with how I looked, right?
I hope you can see where I'm going with this post...
After lots of reflecting, I know none of those feelings of regret or jealousy are even remotely appropriate. Yes, health is important for both myself and the baby and I should be trying just a little harder. But ultimately how my body has changed and will continue to change until the end of 2014 is out of my control because there is life growing inside of me. Letting the process continue the way it's meant to is really the only option. I would never want to risk harm on our unborn baby by drastically changing my eating and fitness routine at this point. I also know that although yes, new clothes are quite lovely, they don't make me who I really am.
This year has included a whole lot of soul searching. I'm evolving...right there with my body type. I know that certain things that used to be the most important for me are some of the least nowadays. My goals can be boiled down to a few things: 1. Be the best wife and mother I can be and 2. Be open to whatever God throws my way. Trusting the process of my life and my pregnancy are challenging but it's all that I've got and I'm becoming more okay with that every single day. There's a reason I'm growing in places I instinctively want to not be growing in and they all have to do with this wonderful child we've been blessed with.
So here's to embracing the wonderfully wild ride of pregnancy. It's not always roses, but it sure can be with prayer, a great support system, and some extra positive thinking.
As for clothing/personal style during this time, I'm especially loving this outlook from designer Lisa Mayock of Vena Cava...
"It's like a nine-month experiment in redefining your personal style. It's actually been really fun to figure it out."
I plan on adjusting my attitude to this from now on...to see the adventure in pregnancy.